Hold Dear

happiness is...

Happiness is discovering an unintentional collection amonst all my intentional collections. Like this one...

Fun. And maybe even a little lucky. :-)

and the winner is...

The winner of a signed copy of Dawn DeVries Sokol's newest book The Doodle Circle: A Fill-In Journal for BFFs to Share is...

KarenLS!!!

Congratulations, Karen!!!

And as a very special bonus, I have a second copy of Doodle Circle to give away! The winner of an unsigned copy of Doodle Circle from me is...

Katie (@SouthernLadysR)

Congratulations, Katie!!!

I attended Handmade U this past weekend (which was amazing...why weren't you there???!!!) Dawn very generously gave every attendee a copy of Doodle Circle! How crazy awesome is that??? Thank you, Dawn!

Since I had already received a copy of Doodle Circle from Dawn's publsher to review for the  blog hop, I thought that I'd go ahead and pick a second name and give away my unsigned copy. 

Thank you to all those who submitted their name for this giveaway! I usually try to respond to each person but since I was out of town most of this past week, I just couldn't do it this time. But that doesn't mean that I don't adore and appreciate each and every one of you! :-)

Thank you for being here. xo

Doodle Circle Blog Hop!

It's a giveaway!!!! My friend Dawn DeVries Sokol has released a brand new book Doodle Circle: A Fill-in Journal for BFFs to Share!

To celebrate the release of Doodle Circle, Dawn is hosting a blog hop to spread the doodle love! And as part of this celebration, I get to host a giveaway for one very lucky person to receive a copy of  Doodle Circle, signed by Dawn herself!

Over the last few years, I have had the good fortune to cross paths with the incredibly talented Dawn several times. Dawn is creative and innovative and has authored several very successful books including 1,000 Artist Journal Pages and most recently, Art Doodle Love: A Journal of Self-Discovery.

Dawn is the doodle queen and a champion to the doodle. She pretty much gets to doodle for a living. Who wouldn't want to be able to say that, right?!

Doodle Circle is a book Dawn has wanted to do this book for a long time! It is a round-robin style journal with awesome, straight forward guidelines on how to use the book, with the emphasis on having fun and enjoying the process. Perfect. It's full of colorful and inspiring backgrounds along with lots of fun prompts! 

The first time I met Dawn was at my very first ArtFest in 2008. We only spoke briefly at the time but I remember thinking, "This girl is fun!" And I was right! I got to see Dawn (and room with her!) this past spring when she taught at Handmade U. That was when I got a copy of Art Doodle Love which I have been working in regularly and loving!

If you would like to be entered in this giveaway, all you need to do is leave a comment on this blog post. I will put all the names in a hat and draw the name of the winning doodler on Tuesday, October 8 at 6:00 pm PST.

There are ten stops along Dawn's fun, giveaway-filled blog hop. Several other bloggers will be hosting giveaways of their own for a copy of Doodle Circle. Be sure to visit everyone during the next two weeks. Dawn will also be hosting a GRAND giveaway on her blog and you do not want to miss that!

Below are the other bloggers to visit during Dawn's blog hop! I'm in pretty good company! :-) 

Oct. 2: Aimee Dolich, artsyville.blogspot.com

Oct. 3: Pam Carriker, pamcarriker.com

Oct. 4: Tammy Garcia, daisyyellowart.com

Oct. 5: Tracie Lyn Huskamp, thereddoor-studio.blogspot.com

Oct. 6: Jill K. Berry, jillberrydesign.com/blog

Oct. 7: Carla Sonheim, carlasonheim.wordpress.com

Oct. 8: Tamara LaPorte, www.willowing.org/blog

Oct. 9: Micki Wilde, thesecrethermit.blogspot.com

Oct. 10: Mindy Lacefield, www.timssally.com

Oct. 11: Jane Davenport, janedavenport.com

Oct. 12: Dawn D. Sokol, www.dawndsokol.com

So a little more about Doodle Circle. I adore the structure of this book! It is spot on and covers all the basics!

Each chapter guides the owner and doodle circle participants through prompts that help them get to know themselves and each other.

Chapter 2 is titled "All About Me" and is where the owner of the book journals about themselves. The prompts are super engaging and there are also blank pages with gorgeous backgrounds, just waiting to be journaled and/or doodled on.

I started playing around and responded to the prompt, "What do you think makes life awesome?" I didn't let myself think too hard on this one and just wrote out what came to my mind first.   

I am IN LOVE with how my doodles interacted with Dawn's doodled background on this page. LOVE it! Dawn's books are all so very fun! Check out her other books:

1,000 Artist Journal Pages

Doodle Diary: Art Journaling for Girls

Doodle Sketchbook: Art Journaling for Boys

Art Doodle Love: A Journal of Self-Discovery

To be entered in the drawing for an autographed copy of Doodle Circle, don't forget to leave a comment on this post.

The winner's name will be drawn on Tuesday, October 8 at 6:00 pm PST!

Good luck and happy doodling!!!

 

handmade u prep...

Prep for the 2013 Fall semester of Handmade U is in full swing! This will be my fifth time attending! I can't wait!

This semester's classes aren't journal themed and so I wasn't sure if I would be motivated to create a souvenir journal. But then a friend of mine gifted me with a bag FULL of postcards. They ranged in date from 1903 to the 80s. There were some genuine keepers in the bunch but there were also a bunch of stinkeroonies.

It was great that there were some stinkeroos because having all of them inspired me to create a journal for Handmade U!

To obliterate the unwanted images of crappy motels or free buffets, I either painted them with gesso or collaged them with a variety of ephemera, scrapbook papers and decorative tapes. 

I'll be sure to show more pictures as this little thing comes together! 

Thank you for being here. xo

estate sale finds...

I went to an estate sale this past weekend. I am fairly confident that it will always be known as the best estate sale ever. It was some books, some kitchen and the rest was all crafts...quilting, bookmaking, printmaking, beading, millinery, and sewing with a few other random things thrown in.

Such as a little pack of four boxes of office supplies marked $1.50. One of those boxes was this (trying to see how Instagram pics upload to the blog here, since that where I primarily post pictures). 

So this very near full box of Dennison labels (yes, I counted them) cost .37 cents. The back of the box was presented as the front and it said Index Labels. My daughter was with me when I opened the box and when realized what was actually inside. I gasped so loud she thought there was a dead mouse in the box!!!!

Nope, no mouse. Just a whole box of the things that makes me so incredibly happy. :-)

Thank you for being here. xo

thank you...

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments on my last blog post. Your love and kindess truly helped. I had to take my time when I responded to your comments because I cried through each and every one of those emails. But it was a good cry.

So the good news I bring today is that I am ready to give my sorrow space. I am ready to face it and make room for it in my life. Articulating what I'm feeling is painful (soooooo painful!) and writing it out always brings tears. But this process is part of my healing. There's no going around it. I have to go through it. And there's no fast way to do it. I'll just keep going through the motions and one day, the memories will bring be comforting rather than heartbreaking.

Since I haven't been around much, I never did get to share with you that when my Momma passed, our very dear friends, Harriet and Anita, had a star named after her to celebrate her life. How cool is that? My Momma will always be watching over me.

That's kind of why I am motivated to start blogging again. I had a conversation with my sweet friend Hope about a month ago. I mentioned that I was feeling like I completely wanted to stop blogging and Facebooking because I did all that for my Momma. Hope very gently said, "Then you should keep doing it. She may be waiting for your next post." First I laughed and then I cried. And now I'm here. :-)

Thank you for being here. xo

a quiet little hello...

Hi there. It's me. Michelle. Remember me? Yeah, it's been a long time since I've blogged. It's been a long time since I've even thought of blogging. Maybe no one noticed. My last blog post was dated February 6, a little over seven months ago.

It was really hard to read though that last blog post. My mother passed away five days later. As I read through it, I kept thinking, "I still had my Momma when I wrote this."

The loss of my Mom has been tough. Real tough. And it actually feels like it's getting tougher. I think it's because I am struggling with giving in and allowing myself to grieve. The sadness is unbearable and cuts so, so deep. I think of my Mom everyday. Every. Day. In my mind I am still seeing her in her last days which were heartbreaking and devastating. I am on the verge of tears all the time. And then just when I'm getting a few days of dry eyes under my belt, I am ambushed by grief and the count starts over.

The realization that I don't have my Momma anymore weighs so, so heavy on my heart. And not having her made me realize how much I did in my life for her. Even though I am 53 years old, I was always jugst a little girl trying to make her Momma proud.

Don't get me wrong, for the most part I am functioning. I'm still making it to work every day, still trying to be social and remain amongst the living. There are actually a few fun, artsy things coming up that I care about so I know I'm making progress with the healing.

This is just a clumsy, unfamiliar and scary new chapter in my life. I am struggling with navigating this long year of "firsts" and trying to insert myself back into the life that I had before. But that is the hardest part in all of this because I am forever changed and even the old feels new. I am so lucky and blessed to have an incredibly wonderful husband (who in addition to grieving with me lost his mother a few years ago) so he is helping me make it through each day. Thank you, Glen.

In the meantime, I'll keep listening to this song.  It was my healing song when my Daddy's passed 18 years ago. I'm hoping it helps me again.

Thanks for being here. xo

sketchbook project 2013...

Oh boy. Another huge gap in blogging. I actually came very close to just hanging this all up but then that automatic payment deduction thing happened and poof...I'm paid up for another year. So I'm still here and on a whim, I thought I'd show up today and try to blog.

One of the reasons I was distracted from blogging is that this past October my mother was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. She went to the doctor for severe weakness and immobility and during testing, they found the cancer. It is the small cell cancer which is very agressive and it has spread fast. As of yesterday, she is on heavy meds for the pain - sublingual morphine (she can't swallow anymore) and oxycodone. This event has been devastating and to see her go through this is heartbreaking and soul crushing. I think I've been doing a good job of keeping it together and can function but when people ask me how I am, I say fine and quickly turn away. I've learned if I linger, they see it in my face and know I'm lying.

On Facebook, I've been posting a "daily goodness" everyday since January 1. This has been a great source of comfort for me. In the midst of the grief and sadness I feel everyday, it helps to focus and magnify the goodness, kindness and love I experience each day.  

I haven't been doing much artsy craftsy stuff lately. I should probably be journaling as I go through this but I feel lost right now and have no interest in pushing myself. I am still active on Instagram and post pictures of the kitties and art supplies I buy. It's entertaining, doesn't require much energy and I enjoy the connections with the kind and caring people I've become friends with.

I did accomplish one artsy thing of late and that is a journal for the Sketchbook Project 2013. I think I finished this because it had a deadline. The Sketchbook Project is a traveling exhibition full of sketchbooks from people all over the world. After the exhibit tours, the sketchbooks will permanently be part of The Brooklyn Art Library. Working on my journal turned out to be a wonderful and fulfilling project and in hindsight, helped me cope. The title of my journal is "Words to Be."

  On each page, I wrote a word and then reflected on how to be a model of that word. What that word  looks like in human form. For instance, the word "forgive" is a hugely meaningful word for me and so I wrote, "Be a model of forgiveness. Let it go. It's okay."

It's simple and to look at it, you'd never know how deeply powerful this page is for me. What started the concept of the "Words to Be" theme was a dream I had about forgiveness. In the dream, I experienced a confrontation with someone from my past. I decided to face this person and I told myself I needed to be a model of forgiveness for my daughter. I woke up renewed and empowered because during the dream, I had let go of the resentment, bitterness and shame I've carried. In a nutshell, when I was young, I allowed myself to stay in a relationship for four years that completely robbed me of my self-worth, value and confidence. I truly let go. And to let go is to trust and with trust comes peace.

Another word that I find powerful is reciprocity. It's an elegant way to say "pay it forward." Beautiful.

Another couple of pages... 

And one more page with the word "gentle." I'm sharing this page not so much because of the word but because visually, this is one of my favorite pages. :-  If you are going to the Sketchbook Project traveling library, the call number for my journal is 196.3-8. I also opted to have my journal digitized. As I receive information about that, I will share and you can view the whole journal online if you like.

Thanks for hanging out with me. xo

PS...Sorry for all the wonky watermarks...I was trying to figure out a new image editor that pops up in Typepad and halfway through it, it stopped working. :-)

 

pure awesomeness...

...in online course form!

Mary Ann Moss  has a new online course...and I'm going, er, signing up! My journals are often traveling souvenirs so I'm really looking forward to this course!

how do you do...

Oh boy...another crazy long absense from blogging. It has been so long since I've logged in to Typepad that I actually forgot my password. Really. But even though it's been forever, the thought to stop blogging completely never crossed my mind. Blogging has been such a huge part of my creative life and I just couldn't imagine not having this outlet.

So here I am, blogging, with renewed resolve to get my head back in the game. I've still been busy doing lots of making. I've been active on Instagram and have been sharing pics of what I've been doing there. It's just so easy because I can do it all from my phone. I said easy, not lazy, right? :-) If you're on Instagram, please find me and visit my feed at http://followgram.me/holddear.

One of the many projects I'm working on right now is a journal round robin with several fabulous girls. Here is a peek at a recent page ...

This has been my "go to" style of journaling for several years. I'm actually trying to bust out of it just a bit and I've been journaling like this in another journal I have going ...

With this journal, I felt like I wanted more white space and for it to not be so swirly. This particular journal will be more of a journal to write in than my typcial artsy journal.

Take care and hope to be back soon!